Two weeks ago I was having a bit of a mental breakdown in regards to the amount of work that seems to pile up in the second year, what kind of internships I should try and apply to for the summer and what kind of job prospects am I going to be looking at once I finish this degree.
Safe to say, I went on a bit of a downward spiral.
Letting these thoughts fester thoroughly through my mind until one day I snapped, unable to stop the contents spilling out of my head, it traveled down to my mouth.
My mouth began forming unintelligible words, mashing together sentences to voice the over-thought thoughts thoughtfully to my academic advisor - the poor soul who had to witness the breakdown that was not a breakdown but just a case of the second year blues.
Manage to keep up? Well done, I'll carry on.
The one thing that was playing on my mind for a while was thinking that my age would hinder me. I do worry about that a lot.
"Tell me honestly, will the fact that I'm going for a graduate job against people who are so much younger than me be to my disadvantage?" I ask my angelic academic advisor.
Brows furrowed, mouth slightly agape, the words that answered back still make chuckle.
"Wait, how old are you again?"
In short, I realised that my constant worry is, for definite, not a worry after a well-made point was expressed, "You don't even need to put your age down on your CV. No one really needs to know."
And it's true, no one really needs to know my age and I felt a lot happier after that.
Until Friday 1st December when I rolled in late for conference only to see by my Mac, a card, a bag of opened sweets and two helium balloons that so graciously greeted me to my new age.
A flurry of happy birthdays and hugs ensued. And as happy as I was that one of my adored friends showered me with so much love, I couldn't stop that little niggle in the back of my mind that just kept repeating: Girl, you is old.
I mean it probably didn't help that everyone made the same joke that day, "You look so young for a seventy-two-year-old!"
Now, I can sit here and write you a top ten things that will happen to you after you reach over the age of twenty-five and watch your life go downhill, but it' been done before.
Instead, let's talk about what it means to be "old." Is it the physical aging process that makes us mature and grow out of that playground banter? No, I don't think so. It's more about what events happened in your life that proved you wrong. How many times can you be heartbroken and overcome it?
Mine is five: twice in love, thrice in life - but who's really counting.
Did I expect to be still in education at my current age? Hell no, I swore off studying as soon as I started earning money at the tender age of 18. But life did have other plans for me; after having a semi-successful career in high fashion retail with Harrods, Harvey Nichols and Sloane Square under my stylish belt, when the next promotion came around I felt dissatisfied.
Sure, while being able to persuade any woman that that asymmetric, off-shouldered, double pattern dress is totally worth four-hundred pounds is fun (hello commission), I began to wonder, what else can I use my communication skills for and how could I combine my interest in writing with it?
At twenty-four I ended the career I grew so accustomed to in order to challenge myself a bit further. Also at twenty-four, I met a guy who viewed me not only in adoration but in admiration in something that I really didn't think I had; intelligence.
By no means am I saying that my decision to go back into education correlates with my intelligence however, it did make me realise that even though I chose not to go straight into university as soon as I finished A-levels, I'm just as good as my current peers.
At twenty-seven I found out I have a knack for writing, filming, and editing. Also at twenty-seven, I've met an array of people seven to eight years younger than me who constantly impress me and made me feel that there's no issue with our age gap.
Despite being late, I've still reached something I've always wanted. So my academic advisor is right in the sense that my age is no hindrance at all and if I had to go through the same heartbreak as before to reach this point in my life again, then bring it. I'll make it my bitch.