I have never had a maternal nature or even a slight feeling that one day I might want to be a mother. I have never felt that way. Recently, I read the story of a woman on the Daily Mail who wanted to be sterilized on the NHS because she knew she didn’t want children.
Although feeling that she should pay for the treatment privately instead of whining on about how it should be paid for by the NHS, her stance on childfree women resonated with me. Note the use of child free, not childless. Childless suggests you have lost something; that you’re less of a person because you don’t have children. That isn’t the case.
Even at 19 I have heard all the same things as every other women who says she doesn’t want children: “You will when you meet the right person”, “But it’s your duty as a women”, “Being a mother is the most rewarding job you can have” and my personal favourite “You’re too young to know what you want”… the list goes on and on. My mum was one of these people; she said that until she met my dad she had never wanted children and that I'll feel the same one day. But I know I won't.
The excuse that “I don’t know what I want yet” always makes me laugh. If I’m mature enough at 16 to potentially bring another human being into this world then how am I not mature to known that I don’t want to do that? I’m not saying I’ll never have kids, but I know that I never want my own kids. If I were to consider having children I would adopt.
The worst thing to have said to you is that it's selfish to put your career above your duty as a woman which as a childfree women you inevitably do. Don’t mothers get the same sense of reward and satisfaction out of being mothers, as I would out of a career I love? Does that not make mothers selfish too?
The stigma around childfree women won't chnage anytime in the near future; it's been a woman's role for thousands of years to produce children. But as more and more women choose to focus on their own development, whether it's professional or personal, being told you're going against evolution isn't a nice feeling. Since after all, what we really need on the planet right now is more children. With the population of the world increasing so rapidly, surely I'm helping everybody out by deciding that I don't want to add to the numbers?