The BBC's obsession with LIVE reporting plumbed an amusing new nadir of absurdity last night. Scotland Correspondent Lorna Gordon travelled from her base at Pacific Quay in Glasgow to the banks of the River Tweed in the Scottish Borders to cue in a report about Norwegian salmon rivers that are infected with bacteria. The connection to Scotland? Well Scottish rivers have salmon too, silly head.

 The value of the 30' of live broadcasting from the banks of the Tweed required to cue the piece in with a live top and tail? Well, it was dark, so we couldn't see the river. We certainly couldn't see any salmon.  The cost? Oh I'm sure that can be justified. The satellite truck, the satellite feed, the camera man, the satellite engineer...Sky can do these things with one reporter and one multiskilled technician. The BBC tends not to. But every penny was well spent.  After all, Lorna was LIVE and as everybody who watched the spoof news show The Day Today or the film versions of Bridget Jones knows: it must be LIVE. As in "Suddenly nothing happened, but it happened suddenly and we were there to bring every LIVE second of the stupendous non-event LIVE into your home, LIVE." It's enough to make you withhold your licence fee. Grrrr. You can revel in the "liveness" here. Or watch the original piece here... sadly without the live top and tail. Perhaps somebody was embarrassed?      

GottaMUSTabsolutely HAStobeLIVE!!