Hugo Boss and Armani are so very last year, guys and girls. We no longer want the sweet scent of sandalwood, cedar and oak moss we want erm… Flame-grilled meat. Yes, all the beautiful smells of a Burger King burger combined in one bottle and spread over our man like burger relish in a bun. Why not add a bit of sweat into this “scent of seduction” whilst you’re at it? Someone’s certainly been doing their market research. 

Would you like anything else with your order, girls? How about a side order of the News of the World’s former editor Piers Morgan topless?! Wasn’t SuBo lucky to lock her lips with this stud for her first ever kiss… I wonder if Vogue’s editor, Alexandra Shulman, will have something to say about the use of Photoshop in it, although I’m not sure that any of us want to be put off our lunch with the pre-edited picture.

But, if a meaty man is your aphrodisiac then why not get yourself some Tango fake tan whilst your at it. That way you can enjoy being smothered in a sickly scent, whilst your partner can get covered in an orange tint.

And at £4.99 each these beasts of a bottle are expected to fly off the shelves. Honestly though, I wouldn’t even pay that for Piers.