To many, the idea of a long distance relationship is enough to send them running for the hills.
So what the hell was I thinking when I decided to start a relationship with someone over 500 miles away?
Hi, my name’s Beth and for just over one whole year I have been in a long distance relationship with a wonderful guy called Lukas. I live in England and he Lives in Germany.
Despite common belief, long distance relationships can work if you want them to, and although many people say that I’m “so brave” or “such an inspiration” for managing to keep it going for so long I tend to shrug it off and insist it’s about as hard to manage as any other relationship.
But the cruel reality is, long distance relationships are hard. It’s hard to not be able to see them everyday, it’s hard not being able to hold them, it’s hard seeing other couples just going about their lives knowing that the person you love is hundreds of miles away from you. But I knew it would be hard when I first got into the relationship and I was determined that I would make it work!
I think that one of the unforeseen hardships we face are the incredible amount of questions people ask us, and whilst there’s no harm in being curious, sometimes people cross a line. I’m not sure how often people in a non-long distance (short distance?) relationships get asked how they have sex but I feel as though I’ve been asked way more than whats socially acceptable (to answer the question, it’s none of your business).
On a lighter note, I often find people are curious about how we do date nights or spend quality time together. Lukas and I met in an online game, so a mutual love of video games give us something to do together. We also watch films or tv shows or just hang out with each other, just like any other couple would do! We also video call… a lot. In fact we’re video calling as I write this (Lukas says hi!)
I also get asked if we’ve ever met in person, and the answer to that one is yes! many times in fact!
We began to date on January 7th 2019, and after a few short months of seemingly endless waiting, the day we first met (March 14th) rolled around and I was nervously on my way to the airport. I remember not being able to sleep or eat or think about anything else that day because I was so damn excited. I remember waiting at the arrivals gate scanning every face waiting for his to appear. I remember wondering if maybe I’d been horrifically catfished, or if maybe when he saw me he’d just keep walking because he wouldn’t have liked me as much in person, there was so much swimming around my head and then…
BOOM!
In that moment all the fears and worries I had melted away, and all I could think about was how blissfully happy I was… I may have shed a few tears.
That first visit I had with him was one of the happiest and best moments of my life, as was the next visit, and the visit after that…
But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Eventually one of us has to go back home and then we go back to counting down the days until the next visit. Every time we have to say goodbye, my heart breaks a little more.
I’m honestly not too sure how I can accurately describe the feeling of seeing the person you adore and want to spend time with more than anyone else walk away from you, leaving you all alone, not knowing for sure how long it will be until you can see them in person again, but my god it hurts.
If there is anyone out there considering or is already in a long distance relationship, the best advice I can give you is to talk. On the days you miss your partner more than usual, tell them, talk to them about anything and everything. Trust is the foundation of any relationship but when you can’t be there physically trust becomes all the more necessary.
Despite the difficulty the nature of our relationship poses, I can confidently say that I wouldn’t change it for the world, I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and the fact that we met each other against all odds means a lot to me. This man seems to fill out all of my rough edges, I trust him implicitly and I think we make an incredible team.
I know that whatever life decides to throw our way, we can tackle it together, no matter how many miles stand between us.
