No, I’m not lying. I have an addiction. Well…a self-diagnosed one…although it’s not what you would expect: Not drugs, alcohol, smoking, ‘the party life’ or caffeine (ok maybe not that last one, I can be quite bad with my coffee habits).
In fact, it’s sugar.
Two spoonful’s in every Java juice; sometimes a measure in my food; the weekly brownie bake; there are several instances throughout the day when I indulge my cravings…and on the off day where I try and avoid my sugary addiction, I often find myself salivating at the idea of eating more and more.
It’s a bit hard to believe but according to some statistics as many as 1/3 of all people have some kind of addiction, whether its to shopping, work or the internet.
I suppose the big question is ‘why do I consider this an addiction?’ and I answer with ‘because it satisfies the conditions of one!’. An addiction is classified as something which causes withdrawal symptoms, or a "come down" and because this can be unpleasant, it's easier to carry on having or doing what you crave, and so the cycle continues.
That’s why I’m a sugar addict. I feel a high when I eat it, and I’d rather not cut it out for the simple reason that I crave it.
It’s a miracle I’m not overweight…but I suppose I can thank my metabolism for that. I’ve always counted on my metabolism to be my saving grace, but the older I’m getting the more afraid I get that something will go wrong soon… Luckily, I haven’t noticed any signs of diabetes yet, but it’s the occasional comments I get from my friends and family that make me question my lifestyle choices.
My family telling me I can’t have a starter, main course and dessert; my flatmate calling me a fatty; having a reputation amongst my friends that I’ll mop up any leftovers. It’s just the little things…but they’ve all added up over the years.
I should also mention that I haven’t done any meaningful exercise in about 2 years, which just adds to my concern. Even more horrifying is that I used to very good at sport, but with a lacklustre degree of energy, I’ve lost all semblance of stamina and I find it too difficult to start up again… I know I’ll probably not have a six-pack but I’m also not leaning to heavily on the pounds either… overall, I’m ok with the way my body is at the moment.
I think the problem is, I just enjoy eating too much. I find tremendous pleasure in eating.
I’m also the type not to accept food from people. I’ll offer my own food quite freely to my friends, but I’m always reluctant to accept it in return. Even something as simple as a stick of gum, a mint or a piece of chocolate.
Also, I suppose I’m thankful that I’ve never had to have a filling/crown or have my teeth fixed in any meaningful way…probably because I’ve never liked fizzy drinks (which is where most young people go wrong).
All this being said I am concerned with how things are going…I have the faint fear that all of this eating can and will catch up to me at some point…yet here I am, channelling these thoughts with a sweet, soya mocha by my side.
I think the end message is that it’s ok to eat what you want as long as you understand the consequences. I love my body the way it is. It has taken a while to get to this point of self-love, but I can say that it’s worth it in the end.