My New Year’s resolution? Watch more TV.

Happy New Year, chaps. I hope everyone is enjoying going to the gym and not drinking and doing all the other January things I definitely should do but don’t because I have no self control.

I don’t know who decided that the coldest, wettest, poorest month should be the month we all try and drastically improve ourselves. It doesn’t seem to make a lick of sense to me, but what do I know. Maybe there really are people out there who are inspired by grey skies and credit card bills. Maybe I just don’t come across them all that often, because every instinct I have tells me to hibernate until at least mid-March.

I had middling success with my New Year’s resolutions last year. I CAN crochet now, although I can only make squares, rectangles, and very long lines. I finally kept a potted plant alive for more than a week, but my sitting room has now been taken over by one giant fern-type thing that’s so big it blocks the doorway. My Ikea bookcase speed-building time remains unimproved. I did indeed visit a drive-thru Starbucks. I have not managed to cut down on the number of cat pictures I put on Instagram. I think, overall, I’d probably give myself a B+.

This year, I briefly considered trying to do that thing where you just set yourself really broad and hard to measure resolutions, like “be kinder” or “eat fewer baked camemberts”, but I think I’d still prefer to aim for more tangible and reasonable goals. And here’s the one I settled on.

Watch more TV

Yeah, I know. But bear with me here, okay, because I have a totally legitimate reason – there is SO MUCH good TV coming out this year. And I really don’t want to do what I did last year; put off watching everything I wanted to watch until the Christmas break and then sitting in front of the TV for two weeks in a duvet cocoon with my eyes held open Clockwork Orange-style, trying to catch up.

As a pretty committed Old West/sci-fi/Evan Rachel Wood fan, I’m already beside myself with excitement about season two of Westworld, hopefully arriving sometime this Spring. Season three of The Expanse should be landing on Netflix pretty soon – a must watch for any sci-fi nerds still looking for a worthy successor to Battlestar Galactica. Homeland is also coming back for another season, in February I think. I may be the only one still watching it by this point, but man, I really do love it.

Everyone’s favourite comedy about moral philosophy, The Good Place, is back again after its winter break, and currently arriving on Netflix one episode a time on Fridays (like in olden times). Starring Kristen Bell and Ted Danson, as well as a supporting cast made of almost all completely unknown but utterly fantastic people, The Good Place is adorable and smart and ridiculously good fun. It’s an absolute must-watch for anyone who still misses Parks and Recreation and I cannot recommend it enough.

The list goes on. For H Jon Benjamin fans, season nine of Archer, apparently called Archer: Danger Island, is coming out sometime this year AND Bob’s Burgers season eight also started last week. There’s no official word yet on when season 13 of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia will be coming (or if Glenn Howerton is coming back, the filthy traitor), but there are rumours floating around that it might make an appearance towards the end of the year. Seth McFarlene’s love-letter to Star Trek, The Orville is still only half way though being shown in the UK. Weird and wonderful Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency season two is already out, but is not getting great reviews, which is disappointing after the first season was so fab. Season four of Tina Fey’s Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is arriving sometime this year too; a show so heartwarming and snortingly-funny that it’s mere existence gives me life.

So yeah, that’s my year sorted. Before anyone starts to worry that I might actually die from lack of exercise or create a butt-shaped dip in the sofa so deep that I won’t be able to climb out of it, please be assured that my other resolutions do involve going outside and doing things. We have three big pub-walks planned, one which includes some camping. My vegetable patch is getting resurrected soon and I’m going to try for some potatoes this year, in addition to the onions, garlic and carrots I normally plant. I’m also planning to adopt some chickens. And if I’m feeling particularly radical, I may try and learn how to crochet actual shapes. But, I’m not going to lie; I love TV, guys, and we’re looking forward to spending some quality time together.

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